Never will you see me more heated than when I have to Mama-Bear out, usually at the dog park, because my 85-lb Doberman cannot defend himself, and if people don’t treat him with basic respect (preferably they’d treat him like the angel baby he is, but I have to be a little reasonable here) I do not stand for it.
Recently I realized that my mama-bearing isn’t just limited to protecting my pup. A dog fight (or I should probably say attack), occurred at our local dog park, and when the puppy victim was in the safety of the double-gate with his dad, of course I had to go offer help. Luckily, the puppy didn’t seem to be in bad shape. The attacker’s mom came over, with the dog that attacked, to apologize and check-in. These things happen with dogs, and you can’t take it personally. BUT. Then things got hairy. She said, “My dog only attacks other dogs when they try to get his ball, and he really doesn’t like puppies.” Of course she was there playing ball with her dog… who then attacked a puppy.
Caitie, protector of the realm, mother of doberman, came out, and I began questioning her then schooling her in an increasingly loud, I’ll call it… discussion. Mama got fierce.
Most people close to me would honestly have been super surprised to see that come out of me. I am not confrontational, and one of the most common words people use to describe me is “chill.” I’m super even-keel and reasonable, but I am uncompromising about who and what matters to me, and I am a nurturer above all else.
If you want to enter the realm of my protected, nurtured, and cared for, I have to vet you first. To avoid having to get a lot less confrontational than I was in that story and tell you after our initial consultation that no, I do not think it is a good idea for us to work together, I’ve written this post outlining some basic standards I have in place on clients I will work with.
… not annoyed by my dog mom story above?
Our coaching sessions are all about you. If I’m talking I’m asking questions, answering questions of yours, or providing some guidance specific for you. This point was mostly to bring a little levity into the picture, but I can’t promise that I won’t mention my dog (and kitten!) from time to time, especially in my content on the blog and social.
…. ready and willing to try new things?
If you’ve tried and failed to reach specific goals in the past, Albert Einstein says it best: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” We will do it differently, together.
This also applies if you’re working towards new goals. Obviously you’ll have to try new things.
Notice in the previous point, I said ready to try new things. Not everything will end up working for you, and not everything will end up working for you forever, but we won’t know unless we give it a go. Are you willing to adapt with my help?
…. open to receiving help?
Not only do I expect my clients to be coachable, accept feedback, etc. I also need you to be comfortable reaching out via email between sessions if you’re stuck on something and speak up about the challenges you’re experiencing during our sessions. I am not a mind-reader. This will require you to be vulnerable and honest or else I can’t do my job.
Sometimes the help you’ll need from me is a referral to someone who is more suited to any specific challenges you may be facing, such as a therapist or specialized doctor. I can oftentimes work with you in tandem with other professionals, but that is not always appropriate.
… in it for the long-haul?
Depending where you’re at and what your goals are, you may notice some pretty big shifts in your health, appearance, mindset, and/or life within a few sessions. That’s all well and good, but I want those quick successes to just be considered sweet bonuses. I need you to understand that meaningful change is a process that takes time, and it will require patience and persistence on your part.
… able to make space in your calendar?
If you commit to a coaching package with me, we will have standing appointments weekly or bi-weekly at the same time/day of the week. In longer packages, I include a couple of slots at the end to be used if you need to cancel any sessions, but besides that, when we agree on a schedule, that’s when we meet.
… open to challenging me?
Over the course of your coaching sessions, we will develop a relationship, and I’m sure I’ll love getting to know you. While we’re building our relationship, my goal is to strengthen the connection you have to yourself as well, so eventually you won’t need me anymore. Your mind and body have a profound wisdom, and you’ll learn to find and trust your instincts as well as respect and love yourself enough to listen to them. There may come times when I make a recommendation to you or explain something in a way that you disagree with outright or maybe just seems a little off or not right for you. I’m not perfect, and you know yourself better than I do, so do not feel like you cannot speak up if anything doesn’t sit well with you. I pride myself in being super receptive to feedback and love learning experiences. Challenges accepted!
… open to trusting me?
I do not always take the conventional approach to address common concerns. I take a holistic approach and believe everything in your life to be interrelated, so if I ask you to do something that makes you scratch your head, I’ll explain. I just need you to trust that I value you and your time and will not ask you to do random things for no reason.
One of my number one* pet peeves is excuses. If you’re a complainer, excuse-maker the majority of the time and aren’t at least ready to kick that habit to the curb, I don’t feel like I’ll be able to help you help yourself.
*I just read an article where this expression was used seriously, and while I don’t hold it against the writer, I find it to be a pretty funny thing to say.
Ready for a transformation? Ready for more out of life, even if you’re not sure exactly what that looks like? Ready to invest in yourself?
If you answered yes to all the questions above, here’s an invitation to schedule a consultation with me if you’re so inclined.
Why don’t I work with everyone?
I know myself, and as a sensitive person, if I make compromises on these standards, working with clients who can say “no” to those questions will be totally draining. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and I’d be too depleted to give my all to the rest of my clients. It wouldn’t be fair to them.
Could I realistically help anyone who doesn’t meet those standards? No – I would just be taking their money and wasting their time. That doesn’t sit well with me.
Even if you’re not ready to work with me one-on-one now (or ever), you’re still welcome into my group programs. I’m also here on my blog and on social trying to spread positive vibes to all and am always happy to share specific resources and content. All you have to do is ask!
Thanks for reading! Happy rest of your day!